Teenage Pregnancy

Teenage angst has paid off well, and now I’m bored and forced to invest in expensive face cream.

Teenage pregnancy among black and Hispanic teens has dropped nearly 50% since 2006.

Two major reasons are that teens have been access to contraception, and the second is that  these hormonally-challenged individuals are having less sex. Thanks, Internet!

Shia LaBoeuf Lookalike Attacked For Looking Like Actor

Ooof! Guess looking like a celebrity doesn’t always have its rewards.

According to Daily Mail, an art director named Mario Licato, 26, who bears a striking resemblance to Even Stevens star Shia LaBoeuf got his face bashed in by a stranger in the Delancy Street Subway Station in the Lower East Side around 8 p.m. on Monday.

On his way up the stairs at the Essex and Delancey Street F train station, the stranger approached him, ready to attack.

However, Licato says that he didn’t see the attacker “until he noticed a fist approaching.” And the knockout punch sent the poor dude flying down a flight of stairs. “This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!,” he heard the person say.

Screen Shot 2016-04-27 at 8.19.04 AMImage Credit: Daily Mail

In other news, Hillary wins 4 out the 5 states in yesterday’s primary, so my first cup of Americano wasn’t the only bummer of the morning.

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Image Credit: Daily Mail

This Has Nothing To Do With Taco Tuesdays

Just back from another two days of caretaking at my parents, and I’m so exhausted.

My dad’s hospice nurse feels like an angel of death to me — each week, she adds another element of word-sound to an overall death knell. This week’s morsel: “he’s still at baseline, but he’s definitely going downward.”

My poor dad is losing his life to alzheimer’s. It’s beyond heartbreaking. I feel like I’ve mourned by dad for over 10 years with him sitting right next to me. I don’t know how I’ll feel when he’s actually gone.

Despite all the sadness, I’ve been running more, lifting weights. I recently learned that in the world of exercise, we need to let go of movements that do more damage than good like crunches. I actually haven’t done a sit-up or crunch in years.

As I sit on my exercise ball, fighting back the urge to go back to sleep, I am thinking about doing planks again. Maybe tomorrow.

Nothing Compares 2 Prince

News of Prince’s untimely death at 57 seems to be the only thing people are talking about online right now.

I’ve seen Facebook postings of Prince on the Today Show, I watched Prince sing with the Muppets. Music that’s from the heart, even memes connecting the artist to a dudeism.

Below: Prince at 2007 Super Bowl (back when he was just going by a symbol) Photo: Chris O.

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I was born into loving Prince. My sister was a teenage president of his fan club, and I was a forced member of her club chapter. I was eventually kicked out at five years old because I couldn’t afford to pay the dues.

How I felt when she kicked me out:

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One of my sister’s most cherished moments was receiving a phone call from him. I don’t remember exactly what he said to her, but I think he expressed his gratitude for her admiration of him. She also learned that he was going to be in a movie called “Purple Rain.”

And it’s that attitude of gratitude that I associate with the artist forever known as Prince. He was a true artist that was loved his fans, and loved to make music.

It wasn’t about Facebook likes or clandestine sex tapes getting in the “wrong” hands, he was the real deal.

Although the devout Jehovah’s Witnesses had kooky ideas about voting and chemtrails, he was still an incredible musician.

Rest in power.

6 EVERYDAY SAYINGS WITH SHOCKINGLY RACIST ORIGINS

Did you know that terms like “no can do” and “the peanut gallery” come from extremely racist origins?! Me neither. But thanks to MTV’s Decoded host Franchesca Ramsey, six familiar terms get thrown some long-deserved shade.

Biggest mind blower—the phrase “hip hip hooray” was once a Nazi war cry “used to invade the Jewish ghettoes during the Holocaust.” WTF?!

The 5:30 short invites you to discover the hurtful history behind expressions many of us might use in our daily lives.

“Understanding where these words and phrases come from is an important part of understanding how racism and oppression have shaped the world we live in today,” she says.

Truer words have never been spoken.

For more stories like these, find me on The Flama.com!

THESE NEW YORKERS HAVE NO CLUE WHO CHRIS PRATT IS

Looks like “Guardians of the Galaxy” and “Jurassic World” star Chris Pratt needs to hang out in cities other than New York if he ever wants to get recognized.

In this funny bit from “Billy on the Street,” Billy, in signature panic-mode fashion, blankets a busy New York area with the actor in tow. One woman incorrectly placed him as “Star Trek” star Chris Evans, while a man mistook him for an actor named Liam. A group of tourists jumped happily thinking that they had just met Josh Duhamel.

Luckily for Chris, a woman named Renee properly puts the right name to his famous face, and even acknowledges knowing his wife, actress Anna Faris.

“She’s on the show “Mom,” Billy points out. “Oh, I don’t watch that…” Renee says. Hilarious.

For more stories like these, find me on The Flama.com!

LESLY VILLEGAS, 20, TASTES SODA FOR THE FIRST TIME, SHEDS TEARS OF JOY

Que rico! In this clip, a 20-year-old Arizona woman named Lesly Villegas immediately weeps upon sampling a big bottle of Caffeine-Free Pepsi for the first time.

Lesly is allergic to caffeine, and has probably steered clear of any type of soda her whole life until that moment, thanks to her boyfriend Mario Rico.

“It’s good,” she says, weeping, probably feeling weird for having never tried soda (and for crying, of course). “I’ll buy you one,” Mario says to her.

Stock up your fridge now, Mario! You’ve now recruited another loyal soda drinker, and from now on all she’ll ever “want is a Pepsi.”

‘EMPIRE’ REIMAGINED AS AN 80’S ‘Dynasty’

I caught the last 20 minutes of ‘Empire’ last night, deciding to skip ‘Blackish.’ I can’t believe I chose ‘Modern Family’ over the ‘Empire’ premiere. What was I thinking,

I saw online that Cookie was in a gorilla suit. I tuned in just in time to see some dude’s head in a box. I saw Chris Rock get iced by Luscious in prison. I can’t wait for more ridiculousness to unfold.

In the meantime, this “Vulture Remix”, New York Magazine mashes up scenes from FOX’s “surprise-mega-hit” show “Empire” with the theme song from 80s prime-time classic “Dynasty” for one triumphant opening sequence.

The majestic ride down memory lane (complete with a “vintage” video effect) features iconic first season moments from “Empire,” which returns for a second season on September 23.

New York Magazine’s Louis Plamondon and Josef Adalian write that the reason for this mashup is that “Fox’s overnight phenom” is missing “a grand opening credit sequence (and theme song) that sets the stage for the awesomeness that is to come.”

Included in this epic remix is Jamal Lyon performing “You’re So Beautiful” at the family “white party,” and Cookie and Lucious Lyon hooking up in a recording studio.

12 DRAG QUEENS PLAY ‘F-CK, MARRY, KILL’ WITH THE 2016 GOP CANDIDATES

This politically-charged video is hardly a drag to watch! Elite Daily invites 12 drag queens to play a spicy game of “F*ck, Marry, Kill,” using the 2016 GOP candidates as bait.

And the queens don’t hold back when it comes to reading these candidates to filth: “Ted Cruz looks like someone that works in your office for years and you don’t know he’s there,” says FiFi Dubois. Then, Tina Burner provides the fatal blow to Cruz with, “he looks like one of those guys you just want to light on fire.”

Meanwhile, Marti Gould Cummings says she would marry Donald Trump “in a heartbeat,” because “you’d never have to see him, and the alimony is great.”

But at 0:36,  Yuhua Hamasaki serves up the most NSFW reasoning for wanting to get down and dirty with Marco Rubio, punctuated with loud slurping sounds.

Gurl, whatever sways your vote!

For more stories like these, find me on The Flama.com!