So there is something that has been weighing down my heart for sometime now that I am finally ready to put on blast.
My friendships on that are on decline and the fact that none of my Manhattan friends want to visit me in Brooklyn.
BGA: Well you’ve never invited me.
Lex: You live too far away.
Lame excuses for people who most likely will get priced out and might have to move to the Slope!
Anyway read below, dear reader:
On 11/15/06, Yummicoco wrote:
Hi [writer/blogger friend],
See you at [party location]!
Wishing you all the best in your new year!
On 11/15/06 6:15 PM, “writer/blogger” wrote:
Thank you! See you soon,
I never went. I saw Hairspray instead cuz they were free and I am an asshole who is a sucker for free things. I skipped out on a friend’s birthday and missed all the cupcakes.
Which brings me to Aeki Tuesday. I sent this myspace message to her sister to which I received this:
[Aeki Tuesday] is doing well. I received the messages from [Lex] and [BGA] as well. I’m not sure why she hasn’t replied to your messages. I will let her know that you guys are worried about her.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
*Sister of Aeki*
So now that she is officially not dead, did she dump me?
Did she just do me like a guy and just fade away? Was I not a good friend? Did she realize that I was a dork (as if I could hide it, dear reader) and decide that she was better off not knowing me?
Finally, the biggest stop-loss (right context?) that has been weighing on my heart is the deterioration of a college friendship which has officially ended after I sent an angry e-mail in response to her half- assed request for forgiveness.
Here’s my e-mail cuz I don’t give a shit. Sidebar comments in parenthesis.
Justified or Not Justified? You be the judge:
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2006 17:09:17 -0800 (PST)
thanks for your e-mail. (BACKHANDED POLITENESS. Learned it from my dad)
I felt incredibly disappointed and hurt when I did not
hear from you when my father was sick. (JUSTIFIED. He needed emergency surgery this past July )
With a message like “uh…yeah I guess its hard when
your parents get old…” a week after I initially
reached out to you, was not only harsh and cold but
sounded like something someone would say to a stranger
or to someone that they completely did not give a shit
about. I would never do that to a friend. A simple 1
second response “I can’t talk–heard what
happened—I’m sorry—can I call you next week” via
e-mail or phone would have been appreciated. The lack
of response caused me to reevaluate our friendship and
see it for what it really is: one sided.
We’ve had issues like this before– Not coming to
visit me on my birthday for six years but expecting
that I come to Boston for your birthday. —Expecting
me to share with you details of my personal life (“the
stories that would only happen to you”) but not being
able to ask you whether or not you have seen your
brother or stepped foot in your [childhood] house.
(MIGHT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE NASTY THERE. JUSTIFIED???)
Also, with phrases like “whoa look at you…to think
a couple of months ago you were just answering the
phones” is another problem all together and I don’t
have the energy to continue this e-mail.
(THAT’S WHERE THE UNDERMINER PART COMES IN. JUSTIFIED)
I’ve had a long day and I don’t have time for this
(I DID HAVE A LONG DAY AND MY STOCKINGS KEPT RIDING UP MY CROTCH. SO DEFINITELY JUSTIFIED)
So anyway she never responded.
Its funny how when you get older, you become consumed with your job, your tolerance changes, you get set in your ways and it becomes easier to drop the people that you care about.
Its hard for me because I was also taught to never walk away from a relationship. “You never know when you need someone for something, its never smart to burn bridges” my father would always say.
But I feel like after a while, you just have to say fuck it and walk away because — to loosely quote Henry Hill in the film that made me want to write and direct, Goodfellas, “It’s outta respect.”