Monthly Archives: April 2005

Bought Parklife by BLUR and Roxy Music’s first album last night. Two albums which should have been in my collection years ago but just never got around to it. Sax bought Queens of the Stone Age instead of Louis X1V after I told him how they sucked ass at Bowery Ballroom the other day.

Louis X1V sucked but the lead singer’s pretty persuvasive package pushing past pencil-thin pinstripes was pleasantly pointed out by me to Alexis… I think that she had already peeped that before I did. They all looked super old like 40. The lead singer looked like my roommate’s hairdresser. I ate Mc Donalads on Delancey afterwards with Jenny which hit the spot. Cheeseburger and small fries.

The band Thermodytics (not sure what the correct name was- who gives a shit anyway- they sucked too) had an amazing drummer who set his drum kit low- falling over the drums as if they were running away from him, throwing his sticks in the air while slapping the drums with his hands. It was Keith Moon playing in a shitty band.

Its Tuesday, Dear Reader. Called in sick yesterday but I am back in full effect at work today.

This morning:
-Shared a croque monsieur,pain au chocolat, orange juice and cappucino with Sax this morning. I love sleepovers!
-E-mailed some peps “What’s up”
-Discovered that http://www.alexist.com is ‘forbidden’ on my server at work. Lex is controversal, I guess- which is what brings me to last night’s happenings at Niagara.

So Sax played with his band Warrior Circle at Niagara last night. Great band , no audience, but he loves to play which is very endearing. Now all he needs to do is learn how to love marketing and publicity and smoozing (sp?) but I don’t see that happening. Cousin (ccstar) represented two fold as friend and Prosper, while randoms also appeared. One drunkard who seemed to know a lot about Jazz looked like Roman Polanski which I thought was cool. For a pedophile, Polanski’s pretty cool. Rent Frantic and Chinatown. Ah! Man and his closet (?) was another cool one.

Anyways, so back to the name Alexis…which means “helper”,”defender”, dear reader. Sax calls for a break after the first set. A woman shows up just before the band gets ready to finish the show. She’s older. She recongizes Sax right away- so does Sax but funny enough he doesn’t remember her name- he only remembers what he refers to her as…

Older woman: um, Alexis…Queens… College (she’s probably thinking “yr such an asshole”)

Sax: yeah, um right. (pause) you’re free-gan

Colette: what’s that? like you only eat a lot of fruit?

Sax: no, its like vegan unless its free then its not…

Alexis: actually it involves a lot of dumpster diving. nothing to do with vegetarianism.

WHAT?

middle class/Haitian sensibilites: ump. don’t judge, just smile

LATER THAT NIGHT

Sax: yeah, dude, she eats from the garbage.

WE LAUGH

Sax: I can’t believe I never told you about her. Totally forgot her name cuz me and Tom always call her “the free-gan”. That shit’s just so way out.

Then we laugh about the line from House Party when some minor character arrives to Play’s party with some chick named Bonita saying “see, baby, I’m takin you places, meetin’ people.”

Went to Yaffa Cafe with the Free-gan, her man that looked like Jeff Foxworthy (funny cuz she later told us that he reminded her of “north carolina” which is where she spent some time on a radical Christian commune)and Issac (guitar player) was there to round out the table.

I could write about last night in so many ways. Must keep this fucker brief…

Probing questions that Issac posed to the Free-gan

1) so like have you ever fought over food with a homeless person?
2) ever find a dead baby? (2 part question) if you did, was it tasty?

Apparently, toasters burn away mold on bread and months old yogurt can be eaten after just a swirl of the spoon and with the extraction of rotted shit.

She found a nifty purse out of the dumpster which she carried with her last night. Sax was like “put that down” when I reached over to check it out. He looked at the bag as I held it in my hand and asked…

Sax: so, what did you do with the bloody glove?

I laughed. I guess you had to have been there.

…there was well… nothing. I have nothing to say about that. Listen without Prejudice is still a cool album. I asked my boyfriend if he ever got caught masting by his mother. He said “almost” which I have no clear idea what that meant. Once, my sister told me that she heard my father run upstairs to my brother’s bedroom door late one night to ask what all the noise was. My dad’s room was below my borther’s of course.

Dad: I thought that you had fallen. Are you ok?

Brother: No, Dad. It was nothing. I’m fine.

He was in his early 30s at the time. single. I was fast asleep on the other side of the hall.

While waiting to get on the A-train this morning, I saw an over 40 year old, decked out in thug life gear— tuffs of grey protruding from his red stocking cap. His t-shirt read “Certified Gangsta” I thought to myself “yeah…”.

Colette: oh job hunting fairy, will I find a cool job that offers growth and development and that is creative and intellectually stimulating and not hellishly boring and corporate?

fairy: but of course you will, dear… all you have to do is believe. now fuck off, you are blocking my light.

HIGHLIGHTS FROM LAST NIGHT:

-wore white cordoroys with an impotent zipper. got a free safety pin from the fabric store up the street from my job. Thanks, Aasim!

-commendeered an electrical socket at Starbucks on canal st to re-charge my phone while I waited for Sax to arrive downtown from playing with friends in Queens. Listened to OKcomputer. ‘Let down’ is still beautiful.

Lex’s PC friend(I think Flora thought he was hot. He works in sales): Yeah these little 3rd graders in the Bronx walk around with razor blades under their tongues.

Colette: that’s SO 80s

HAPPY FRIDAY

I scarfed down 2 plain bagels with peanut butter while watching the Cosby show this morning. Drank my coffee black. Denise decided to quit college in order to either become a record producer or a fashion designer while Healthcliff and Clare freaked out about the kids never wanting to leave the house. Theo forgot to send his room and board check to NYU housing. Vanessa’s afro was looking overly fluffed and hot curled.

Took the elevator with the hottest waiter from the restaurant downstairs who was delivering espresso to a top guy at my job. He was friendly.

Crap food since last Thursday:

apps and oysters thursday night (fancy but crap)

chorizo omelette from tacos nueva(o?) mexico saturday morning (cheap crap)

banana, blueberry muffin, couple of potato chips, bottled water (on the road crap)

baked ziti, a meatball, a slice of cheese and a slice bread (fund raiser crap)

chips ahoy cookies, pretzels (gracious. crashing at someone’s pad crap)

philly cheesesteak, bites of lex’s veggie sandwich, dairy queen while shopping on south st. (felt like crap afterwards)

two slices of pizza near brown bloggers event ($5 min on debit card purchases crap)

chocolate crossisant while assembling recepits and W2s and watching Felix the Cat on DVD(nice boyfriend liking me fat crap)

half an eggplant calzone, half a slice of pizza while watching Bubba Ho-tep (horrible movie crap)

tomorrow bulemia. I am an insensitive fat cow.

So there’s been a lot of talk this week about “self”. Who am I? What kind of person am I supposed to be in a particular situation? Does it matter what other people think? What does it mean to be yourself when you don’t know quite what your “self” is?

I have always prided myself on being myself even if its not what people like. I am used to never fitting in. I am the odd-ball. Haitian but American. Black but never quite fitting the mold. Girl but androgenous, not too girly. I am a walking duality. Am I making any sense? Should I blog about condoms instead? I searched high and low for non-lubricated DUREX condoms with AlexisT.com in the gay part of town yesterday evening to no avail. Only found lubricated ones and TROJANS (gross). Story of my life.

Sax is the perfect example of someone that is himself all the time. He wears functional clothing that contain little if no awareness of style at all. He wears DICKIES and novelty tees. There is no filter between his head and his mouth. He says what he wants. He does what he wants. He wears what he wants.

Colette: I want to buy you a new jacket.

Sax: Why? Check this out (On the N-train this morning. He turns to reveal “ROCAWEAR” emblazoned on the back his black jean jacket) Its hot.

Colette: But its not indicative of you…

Sax: Why, wouldn’t it be indicative of me?

Colette: Well… its just NOT indicative of ME.

Sax: Yeah, well that’s your problem then. This is me.

Despite my strong sense of self, I was raised to be cognizant of what people think. Wearing the right clothes and shoes. The right education. The right job. The right husband. Having excellent table manners as a sign of good breeding. Its cultural, a post colonial mentality. I reject what I was taught but at the same time it consumes me. Lex (latina) was raised similarily.

Lex: What’s that under your nose?

Colette: Its cream. My nose is dry. (I have sinusitis)

Lex: Well, you better wipe it. It looks like wetness or something. I’m just looking out for you.

MY AUNT, SISTER OR COUSIN WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING. I DOUBT ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE.

Went to the book party last night with Lex, which she then blogged about this morning. I felt like I was on the set of “Metropolitan” or “Last Days of Disco”. In this case, the TITANS OF THE UPPER WEST met the NOUVELLE RICHES all the way downtown and the REBEL BLENDERS like myself and Lex stood watch on the periphery. Too much posturing for below Christopher st. I can see why one would seek coke as a defection from self.

THE REBEL BLENDER HIGHLIGHTS:

- ransacked the BR. took a handful of Kiehl’s lip gloss and Roger & Gallet soap (yummicoco’s secret ingredient for her underware drawer, Dear Reader)
- “let’s pretend to be in a deep conversation” Lex said as we tried not to stare too hard at Monica Lewinski or the hot lady with the short short skirt.
- wiggled around to Justin Timberlake and Prince while noshing on apps and sipping Ginger ale and Pellegrino(I like it with lime).

Then it came time to leave. Upon receiving our gift bags, my dorkdom revealed itself.

Colette: whoa, so cool.

We were given cool totebags containing cool shit. I was happy. We headed out the door.

Lex: you know, you could be cooler when getting a giftbag.

NOT AN EXACT QUOTE BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT (my actress sister would have said the same thing)

Colette: Whatever. I’ve been going to industry parties long before you (despite raging dorkdom). Who cares?

Lex: whoa, you just put me in my place. give me a hug.

We hugged. Disfunction at its finest. Then we headed home.

BROWN BLOGGERS AT LAVA GINA SUNDAY APRIL 10th at 7pm.(google nichelle newsletter for info) SHOULD BE GREAT. GOING ROAD TRIPPING WITH LEX AND CREW THIS WEEKEND.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Great weekend. Hung out with my boyfriend in Williamsburg. We went to mass together yesterday. Introduced him to a few of my friends as well.

Colette: he’s kind of dorky.

Alexis: um, yeah….

RKB and Alice Ayers had a fabulously steamy party at their pad in Williamsburg. Matt the publicist, Nichelle, Brazilian Muse, Aeki Tuesday, Heidi, BGA and Alexis were all in attendance.

At the party, Lex asked an incredibly insightful question to the only two black men at the party.

Lex: WHAT IS A DEAL BREAKER WHEN SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN?

My answer: “talking”

I am what is commonly known as a talker. Dirty talk, talk about Vera Drake and how the movie was kind of flat, talk about how Cicely Tyson was once involved with Miles Davis… I even asked to borrow $20 the other day…

One of the black men: That just means that you are not getting IT good enough so you are distracted.

Lex: yeah, when I’m fucking, I can’t think about anything else.

But that’s the thing. I do it all the time! Any guy that I have ever been with- I talk. But that doesn’t mean that I am not having a good time. It just seems so normal to me.

After I hooked up with some asshole last year, he told me…

“You need a boyfriend”

While I was having sex with french guy back in the fall on our friends’ couch, I would not shut the fuck up.

Colette: who did you get your ears from? your dad?

French guy: nooooo….. my graaandfaaather

Colette: really? what do you call your dad? Pap–pa?

Funny enough, the men usually responded back… the fact that most did not CALL back for another romp was my answer that they didn’t like it. But Sax doesn’t care so I neither do I.