Photo Courtesy: Music Choice

#WordsofAdvice: Clare Galterio, host of Music Choice’s You&A

I just chatted with the adorable Clare Galterio, a TV personality and host of You&A on the Music Choice Network.  Airing in over 16 million homes (and in over 50 million if you count on demand), Galterio interviews the hottest artists on the scene.  Her cousins are actresses Kate and Rooney Mara and her family owns the Giants and Steelers.  Not only does Clare know about music, pop culture and sports, but she has also started her own gluten free website, The Gluten Free Chick, where she explores gluten free eateries and does some cooking with the chefs.  She also prefers extra large towels. Find out some of her #WordsofAdvice here:

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Photo Courtesy: Jory Burton & Sotheby's International Realty

Importing Contacts

Now that my LO is approaching the half way mark to age two, I’m actively pursuing getting a life.

When baby naps, I’m on networking on social media, writing in my blog, thinking about how I can make money. I’m hopeful even when there doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope out there.

Waiting for baby to wake up so that we may go to Munchkin Music with James Adler. He reminds of Vincent D’Onofrio from Full Metal Jacket, a giant amongst small children, slamming a floor tom, harmonica vibrating to his air. The babies love it.

Oh and I’m in love with Jessica Simpson‘s Beverly Hills home.

Photo Courtesy: STEPHANIE RAUSSER

Me Day Is Not Really For Me

I’m a 35 year old with old, decrepit parents that live in an old, ramshackle house.

Their situation is really not that bad but it’s really not that great either.

This weekend, my husband and I prepared my dad’s room for his return from the psychiatric facility this week. We found desiccated banana peels, outdated medical journals and encyclopedia, shoes, shoes and more shoes. I gathered a lot of lovely pictures into a box and finally located the title to his car, a crumpled up piece of paper, which I mistook for trash and almost threw away.

As this was happening, my mom lay in her recliner, too depressed to enjoy what was a gorgeous day outside. She’s depressed because her parkinson’s is advancing and she’s feeling the fleetingness of life.

But today I have the day off. My baby is at a babysitting exchange and I am free to do whatever I want. And what did I do?

1) made calls for my parents

2) spoke to my sister on the phone about my parents

3) sent an e-mail to all my siblings about my parents.

I need to do something for myself.  But what do I do with myself?!

1) Go to community acupuncture at my local ‘yoga and herbs’ center

2) Go for a bike ride

3) look into swim pass at the nearest community pool.

I’ll figure it out.

Photo Courtesy: Nichelle Stephens

Tips to Monetizing Your Blog with Nichelle Stephens

Currently, there are millions of blogs worldwide, and surprisingly, many of these bloggers are not yet monetizing their sites. Is it because they are so passionate about their theme/concept that money has never been a concern? Who knows! But in the meantime, let social media specialist Nichelle Stephens steer you in the right direction towards a blogger payday. They check out more of Nichelle at NichelleStephens.com

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http://jezebel.com/omfg-teach-your-kids-accurate-names-for-body-parts-alre-1637781018

Cocks Sacks Are Icky

My LO is super fussy and won’t leave me alone so I’ll be brief. Our household is finally getting over contracting coxsackievirus. It’s like chicken pox but involves babies being a little too free with putting things in their mouths that don’t belong to them and shouldn’t be there anyway.

Photo Courtesy: Ángel Franco/The New York Times

A Preponderance of Birds

I recently wrote a sci-fi(esque) story for Storychord that just hit the web this week. It’s not the best short story ever written but I’m proud that I endeavored to think outside of my comfort zone and actually produce something for people to read. As a new mom, it’s so easy to get lost in other people’s poop and circumstances. I’m grateful that I had some time to myself to do something for myself.

Yesterday evening my husband, baby and went on a stroller walk with another new mom, who was feeling more enthusiastic about getting on with her personal life to pursue her fashion line that’s been on hold since baby. She’s finally sees an opening in the all-consuming, opaque veil so many of us new moms wear.

Which brings me to a new show (or at least one that I just realized existed) called Transparent, starring Jeffery Tambor from Arrested Development fame. The dram-edy centers on a family and their lives following the discovery that their father, whom they’d known as Mort is a transgendered woman named Maura.

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Photo Courtesy: Ruven Afanador.

“Are you saying you’re going to start dressing up like a lady all of the time?” asks daughter Sarah (played by Amy Landecker).

“No, honey. All my life, my whole life, I’ve been dressing up like a man,” Maura replies. “This is me.”

It’s hard to imagine what my LO will look like as an adult, and harder to imagine what our relationship will be like as well.

How will my children deal with any of my personal choices be it small or monumental?

And how will a family of parrots adjust to the non-tropical climes of Queens?

Angry gals

Video of the Alaskan reporter who quit her job on-air in support of marijuana legalization in her state, announcing “fuck it, I quit

angry-black-woman-cartoon

I just googled “angry black woman cartoon,” dredging up a whole slew of photos including this one above (possibly from South Park). I guess “angry black woman” is as ubiquitous as a Chase bank in New York City or Del Taco in LA–there’s one anywhere and everywhere you want to be.

But are black women everywhere YOU want to be? Not quite.

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(Photo Courtesy: Everyday Feminism)

And I guess to the less than thirty percent of people of color who have bachelor’s degrees, I’m assuming that they are pretty angry. And I guess that makes me angry too because I too have a BA.

What I’m getting at is that if you are black and successful, it’s assumed you are angry, sassy, uncouth.

Shonda Rhimes(Photo Courtesy: Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)

New York Times television critic Alessandra Stanley wrote the following:

When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography, it should be called “How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman.”

On Thursday, Ms. Rhimes will introduce “How to Get Away With Murder,” yet another network series from her production company to showcase a powerful, intimidating black woman.

Basically, “success” equals “intimidating,” “scary,” “BLACK!”

And, basically I’m pissed.

Flipping through the Sunday Times yesterday, I didn’t see much positive, diverse reporting featuring people of color. From Alessandra’s racist report to Charles Blow’s painful account of childhood abuse, I would’ve liked to see some articles with brilliant, creative people of color, making moves, making a difference. It’s as if these people don’t exist and black people are meant to be pitied.

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(Photo Courtesy: Everyday Feminism)

“Oh, I’m sorry I benefit from white privilege!”

“Hey, is life hard for you as a black person? I’ve been reading a lot about white privilege lately…”

I don’t think you’re angry!

Here’s my all-time favorite white guilt website.

Words of Advice: Jiggly Caliente

*This was originally commissioned by a new editor at well-known media outlet, but the column was cancelled before it could be published. Now, I’m posting it myself. Hit me up at @yummicoco, tell me know what you think! Would love to keep this going on a weekly basis with a colorful person to highlight each week. 
_________
Jig3
Former Ms. Universo Latina and past contestant on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Jiggly Caliente is one of hottest queens in the world. Lover of lollipops and symmetrical eyebrows, Caliente is a New York City native that also enjoys being the go-to love counselor for her girlfriends. Follow her at @jigglybitch on Instagram. http://jigglycaliente.com
Send your questions on any probing topics to @yummicoco with #wordsofadvice
1) What’s one way someone could improve their dating app profile?
Dating apps suck! Don’t let how many hits you get define you as a person. But, some people don’t know how to take the right selfie. I am not perfect with the selfies but I’ve seen a lot of people take bad ones. There are times when I’m like “Ooh, that’s not good. I’ve got to delete that one.” Just take your time because a picture does say a thousand words, and it can be bad for your dating life. You’ve got to put your best foot forward. Don’t post a picture of you with a scrunchie or with your hair in a pinche, wearing sweats. Nobody’s gonna find that sexy, Boo! You’ve just got to put some color on those lips, look a little glamorous like Roselyn Sanchez or JLo. Look cute for the boys because you attract more bees with honey. So, use [an Instagram] filter, put some make-up on, and a little cleavage helps too.  But, do not, DO NOT, I implore these women, please DO NOT post pictures in your bra and panties for the world to see! Because, number one: if you are NOT a Victoria’s Secret model you should NOT be putting your pictures out there like that. And number two, you are just putting the wrong message out there, and people are going to think that you are there just for a smash. But, if you are just looking for fun, and you’re DTF, more power to you! And, in your description, tagline or whatever, keep it simple! Even if you write what you’re looking for, dudes won’t read that! A man’s attention span is as short as a dog’s. Just write: “I like movies.”
2) What are the top three red flags that show you’re a booty call?
First up, if he does not call or text you in the daytime. You know there are no good restaurants open late at night, even in New York City. So if he’s hitting you up after 9pm, Sweetheart, you’re a booty call! Number two: If it’s always abbreviated texts like “WYD” or “WYA” (What you doing? Where you at?) No! The person needs say hello or at least [pretend they’re interested] with a “hey babe!” But if it’s a straight up “WYD,” you are a booty call, Darling! The third sign: If it’s only every other day or once a week that you receive a phone call or text message. [Ultimately,] the biggest sign is if you see someone only once a week and you end up sleeping, boning, or whatever sexual together, you’re the booty call, Baby!
3) Someone asks: “I like this girl, she likes me. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. Whenever I bring up the relationship question she runs. WTF?”
Well, if a guy is asking this [kind of question] that’s really rare, but I think that when girls run it’s either they don’t know if they can take someone seriously, or it’s just out of fear because of the last relationship that they were in. So, either suck it up and be a gentleman or move on. Show her that you can be that kind of Prince Charming that will save this damsel in distress, which she basically what she is because she’s afraid of being hurt. When it comes to women, you have to you have to prove yourself worthy of her affection.  Women need to feel is safe. If she doesn’t feel that way, she is going to RUN.
Jig4
4) Another someone asks: “Please let locas know that Sharpies are not for eyebrows.” Got any brow tips?
Here’s a little thing on eyebrows: They are not easy to perfect. You’ve got to have a steady hand to draw them in, to brush them, or you have to find the best eyebrow [specialist] on the planet to make them look perfect. I don’t have eyebrows, I draw them in but I always get compliments for them. First, they should be a little lighter than your hair color. Second, I always say that eyebrows should be sisters, NOT COUSINS but sisters. [Meaning], no two eyebrows will ever be perfectly the same but they need to be [more or less] identical. But don’t use a Sharpie, because nobody really has black eyebrows–that’s what people tend to forget. Nobody is born with jet black hair. Even Asian girls (and I’m Asian), don’t get jet black hair. You’re born with dark brown hair.  If it’s jet black it’s because you dyed it.
5) Dating App Etiquette: What’s worse, posting photos of yourself as a kid or posting random RIPs for a loved one in your Tinder tag line?
Kid pictures are not so bad, but a rest in peace? THAT’S kind of creepy. Nobody needs to know who died, and when and why. To me, that’s too personal. I shared my life with the world but that wasn’t on any social networking website, it was on TV. I just don’t think that anything about death should be on a dating app. It doesn’t really resonate well. Kid pictures? I could understand that…you know, for like #ThrowbackThursday. I get it. But, there’s no #RestInPeaceWednesday! You know what I mean?
6) What about you are most men drawn to first?  
Well, for me, it’s always been my big lips. Guys always gravitate toward them, telling me some kind of disgusting, perverted line, having to do with something phallic. The signature [prop] in my shows, and in life really, is a lollipop. I love lollipops! Every time I have a lollipop in my mouth, guys have to tell me how great my lips are, and that I look great sucking on a lollipop. Really, that’s your line? It’s so disgusting, but if the guy’s really hot, I’ll giggle a little but if he’s not..eew, no! And, I can tell when it’s coming, especially in the summer, walking down the street with an ice cream cone. Like, in New York City, Mister Softee [ice cream truck] is a big deal, right? Everybody gets a Mister Softee ice cream cone in the summertime in New York. But what does the cone look like when a girl is licking it? A phallic SYMBOL! It’s disgusting but those are the cards I’ve been dealt because I have big lips. I’m not mad at it. I think it’s a compliment, even though it’s perverted. Don’t get me wrong, when it’s some really hot looking guy that looks like Michael Ealy or Channing Tatum talking to me like that, I’m like, “ok, let’s go sexy.”
7) How do you know it’s the right time to start having sex with the person you’re dating?
For me, within the first five minutes of talking to a guy, I know if I want to sleep with him or not. Now, I am not ashamed, I have done one night stands. I’ve slept with a guy on the first date. It happens. You know when you want to sleep with someone. It could be a week. It could be 90 days, or [you might wait until] you’re married. Just don’t give it out right away. Let that person work for it. If he says the right things and you fall for it, if he’s a good liar, and he’s telling you all the stuff that you want to hear, and you end up spreading your legs for him on the first night, that’s your call. You should feel comfortable with that person. He should turn you the f**k on, and if he has a job, then by all means…those are signs that says it’s time to get it in.
The last relationship I was in, I was with him for over a year and I didn’t sleep with him right away. If I really like a guy, I make him wait. If I don’t really like him and he’s just hot, then whatever! But, with my last boyfriend, I made him wait until I felt comfortable, I was turned on, and I felt safe in his arms. I was like “I’m good. Let’s go. Jackpot!”. Those are things that women should look out for when it comes to a man. Hopefully, he does it right too. I mean, if he doesn’t pull through in the sex stuff and he’s wack in bed then you are f**ked. To each their own, some girls will be fine with it but not me—it’s back to the drawing board.
 
Photo courtesy of Jiggly Caliente

NaPoWriMo Day #4

A thick glass coffee table can reveal imperfections like bubbles,

Sometimes people will pay extra for that.

A down pillow with feathers blown in through an open seam more luxurious than one that’s stuffed. 

It costs more of course. 

Walls that are skimcoated by a contractor are smoother than most walls, 

if you decide to notice.