Potty Training, Six Months Max

Still in LA, waking up early to do freelance assignments. I love the private time, child-free time I get to work.

Even though it sucks that there’s a draught, our stay here is not as “Blade Runner” -esque as I thought it would be. My MIL is really serious about doing our part to conserve water, and I’m still surprised at the fact that she didn’t bristle when I took a 20-minute shower the other day.

One thing that I gawk at a lot as I walk or drive through LA nabes is the lawns–especially when I wake up early to find some people using their sprinklers as if they live in New York, where there’s a ton of water.

I havent noticed lawn painting:

But my son loves all the attention that comes with a trip to LA. Even though his scooter was swiped off the front lawn, he has everything he needs here, and more people to love and watch over him. I’m really grateful.

No Vacation From My Vacation

Hey from LA!

Seems like I’m more on my computer tackling freelance work than I am enjoying living someplace else for a month, but I really need to stay out of the sun anyway if I plan on staying wrinkle and skin-tag free for as long as possible.

In between swim lessons for little one, “sublimating” while staying in-laws, and enjoying last bits of summer, I’ve seen that Ingrid Sischy has died at age 63.

A force in the edit world, she’s a pop culture giant that will be sadly missed.

Hilary Clinton will likely get the book thrown at her for “e-mailing,” and Bill Cosby used to get Quaaludes from “his” gynecologist.

What the fuck, computer break starts now.

Resistance Is Futile: Dogs Eating Ice Cream

Taste the flavor of this delightful, three-minute gobble-fest from Mashable’s “The Watercooler,” simply featuring doggies devouring huge bowls of cold and dreamy ice cream and cookies.

It’s pleasure-viewing perfection at its finest, allowing you to “space out,” as you watch these cuties lick up what looks like vanilla-flavored goodness as if their lives depended on it.

And, you’ll love the cast of characters! From Chloe the Mini Frenchie to Latte and Maddie, it’s impossible not to enjoy this pooch parade.

Get this in your belly immediately!

With dashes of insecurity…

It’s Friday, and I’m in love with Cafe Rebo from Haiti, which a cousin brought back for me, direct from the motherland.

We’ll be heading out to “Grandma’s” in LA on Tuesday, and I’m so “excited” to sleep in my husband’s childhood bedroom, kept in exact order since he moved out at age 19.

But what I do love about staying in LA, is the childcare help we receive from grandparents who are so happy to get one-on-one time with my LO. In New York, we can’t afford childcare, and have no family or friends that are available to help out.

Child-rearing is especially hard during the school year, when my husband is away at grad school, and I’m alone in the world every week, struggling to juggle parenting and working. It’s tough. I’m so thankful but it’s not easy.

This upcoming semester, I’ve agreed to assist at a small preschool so that my son could attend for free, which is a huge sacrifice because it’s scheduled when I usually work on freelance assignments.

I predict a interesting/fucking hard experience, with a chance of tears, trying to balance that shitshow, but we’ll see what happens.

If only the “Try Guys” would step in and try to manage my life for me so that I can take a nap somewhere.

Oh well.

CAITLYN JENNER HONORED WITH ARTHUR ASHE COURAGE AWARD AT ESPYS

Wearing a crush-worthy ivory, sinch-waisted, Versace gown, Caitlyn Jenner brought down the house of A-listers and sports elite, as she accepted the 2015 Arthur Ashe Courage Award at Wednesday night’s ESPY Awards.

While bringing awareness to many difficulties transgendered people face, Jenner also provided good-natured comedy, poking fun at her new life as a women, acknowledging just how difficult it is to dress for an award show: “Okay girls, I get it…It was exhausting. And next, the Fashion Police, please be kind on me, I’m new at this.”

With her entire family in attendance, (including the Kardashian sisters) Caitlyn Jenner, one of “the most decorated athletes in U.S. Olympic history,” delivered a thoughtful speech, addressing the positive impact sports has had on her life, masterfully “using the power of the spotlight” to weave in a message of courage and acceptance for all people, namely those who are transgendered, who need our love and support.

“If you want to call me names, make jokes, doubt my intentions, go ahead. Because the reality is, I can take it.” asserts Jenner. “But for the thousands of kids out there coming to terms with being true to who they are, they shouldn’t have to take it.”

Dad nails classic dance moves, Gets Ignored

Hold up, wait a minute! You must see this dad, bringing sexy back, showing the world that a father, wearing responsible dad-jeans and a polo, can still cut loose on the dance floor at The Vamps gig at Island Beats, Thorpe Park in England.

Watch as the unidentified big papa outshines all the kids around him, even the performers and busts moves straight out of a dance vault to reveal a fluid onslaught of classics from the “Carlton” to the “Robot,” to the “Moonwalk.”

You’re a star, dance-fever-dad!

THESE INSANE 3D RAINBOW PIÑATA UNICORN COOKIES POOP STARS!

Unicorns can poop out stars?! You’re probably thinking, “yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt,” but it’s happening, and it’s awesome!

These adorable unicorn piñata cookies by Elise Strachan of “My Cupcake Addiction” can stand up on their own AND poop STARS!

In this in-depth tutorial, Elise gifts the world with a step-by-step guide to making these rainbow-colored, Nutella-and-white-chocolate-stuffed cookies. Jump to 7:22 to see the Unicorn actually shoot out the sugary stars.

YOU’RE INVITED TO LOOK AT THIS PSA ABOUT BOOBS

[first published in The Flama]

Prepare to bust-up laughing at this P.S.A. brought to you by WNBA (Women with Nice Boobs and Asses), dedicated to the bust, featuring well-endowed women who want guys to notice more than just their intellect when they’re wearing low-cut tops at ‘da club.’

“This is Gertrude. And this is Stein,” says one feminist introducing us to her “ladies.”

Another woman takes an educational approach, informing us that “the nipples are the eyes of the chest,” adding “look me in the eyes!”

We guess you better do what the ladies say, fellas.